Bad Bunny: FAQ for White People

President Donald Trump lambasted the NFL’s decision to tap Puerto Rican superstar Bad Bunny as the headliner for next February’s Super Bowl halftime show. “I don’t know who he is, I don’t know why they’re doing it — it’s, like, crazy,” he said. – Politico

Q: Who is he?

A: Latin rapper Bad Bunny, born Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, is a three-time Grammy winner and the most-streamed male artist in the world. Ironically, most MAGA people raging about the Super Bowl had never heard of him. Also ironically, neither had many progressive-minded white people showing their love for Bad Bunny. You know who you are.

Q: Why are they doing it? Is it, like, crazy?

A: No one really knows why the NFL does what it does. Safe to say it’s revenue-related.

Bad Bunny, according to Newsweek “the most popular American on Earth.” Photo: © Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com, CC BY-SA 4.0

Q: Why is he called Bad Bunny?

A: Apparently as a child he scowled when grownups made him dress up in a bunny costume. Which goes to show that humiliating your children is common among parents everywhere, from all walks of life. What unites us is truly greater than what divides us.

Q: Why can’t they find a US citizen to perform at the upcoming halftime show?

A: They did. Puerto Ricans, including Bad Bunny, are US citizens. Previous NFL halftime performers hailed from all over the world—Ireland, Spain, Barbados, Canada, and Colombia, to name a few. It’s almost as if being “an American” isn’t the real issue—as if there’s something else people don’t like about Bad Bunny.

Q: Could it be an age thing?

A: Could be. House Speaker Mike Johnson had never heard of Bad Bunny, age 31, but thought 82-year-old country singer Lee Greenwood would have a “broader appeal.” Greenwood agrees.

Q: Bad Bunny said we have four months to learn Spanish, so we can understand what he’ll be singing. Is that possible?

A: No. Even if you use your Duolingo app every day from now till February—not possible. But the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Too bad that, unlike half the world’s population, you didn’t grow up speaking more than one language.

Q: What’s up with Bad Bunny dressing in drag?

A: It could have to do with how:

…the performer/protagonist has to negotiate multiple preconceptions in the very formulation of who he is and how he presents himself—and the profound instability of that in a homophobic, racist, and classist environment, ones that can easily lead to translocura (transmadness).

Or, it could go back to that bunny costume. Or maybe he just enjoys it. Try and relax, people!

Q: In response to the Bad Bunny controversy, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem says ICE will be “all over” the Super Bowl, and that “They suck and we’ll win.” Who is “They”?

A: It’s not entirely clear at this stage of the game. The goalposts keep moving, so to speak. Just in case, if you’re attending the Super Bowl, leave your phone at home and bring two forms of identification. Also ask your mom what hospital you were born in. Then you’ll be prepared for the minor inconvenience of a Kavanaugh stop. White people haven’t had much to worry about, though a lot can happen between now and February 8th.

And whether you watch at home or brave your way to the stadium, have fun and remember: it’s only a game!

Jennifer Thomas is an environmentalist and speculative fiction writer. You can read some of her stories at jenniferthomas.net